the love of your life

you called me the love of your life
but never heard my heart was not yours
were you hoping i would fall for you
that is not what falling in love is for
it either happens or it does not
and i told you it did not for me
you told me that you had no choice
your love for me ignored my words
my selfishness ignored your voice
our choices create our lot

i wish i never let it go so far
for now i do not know where you are
i miss how much you were devoted to me
did my leaving set you free?

when we met you were pregnant with someone’s child
i never knew who he was or why he was not around
i’m not sure why i didn’t ask and now i wonder why
was i just happy you needed me and not the other guy?

when we met you were grieving, your father just died
you still lived at home, never on your own, eyes wide
just a child with a child and i took you in and shared my life
but the one thing i never wanted you to be was my wife

i tried to be kind, was i too kind?...
or is kindness cruel in the end?
you wanted me to fall in love
i wanted a best friend

you wanted a lover
i wanted a mother
too late we discovered
the two do not mix

how do people measure
what’s comfort or pleasure
when you break a treasure
maybe there is no fix

we never really saw eye to eye
maybe you chose the wrong guy

i wish i never let it go so far
for now i do not know where you are
i miss how much you were devoted to me
did my leaving set you free?

i bought you a house, then i let it go
if you paid it off it is worth five times what we paid
you wanted a spouse, i wanted a show
we were both victims of the game we played
and did we let money get in the way?

you called me the love of your life
but never heard my heart was not yours
were you hoping i would fall for you
that is not what falling in love is for
it either happens or it does not
and i told you it did not for me
you told me that you had no choice
your love for me ignored my words
my selfishness ignored your voice
our choices create our lot

i wish i never let it go so far
for now i do not know where you are
i miss how much you were devoted to me
did my leaving set you free?