comp 101 (part one)

you say you want me to call
but you don't like talking on the phone
you like your talking face to face i wonder,
how long have you been on your own
you hand me your number as i leave
and encourage me to care for myself
now what am i supposed to make of that oh,
what's that book up on your shelf?

is it pride and prejudice
or is it war and peace
maybe tale of two cities
or the golden fleece
is it something unique
someone i never heard of
oh...
or are you writing something new
and does it take two
for the love or words
or are we gonna fall in love

you say you want me to call
well haven’t been asked for so long
i like the smile on your face i wonder,
what would you do with your own song
you reach out to hug me as i leave
i think i’m not sure i remember how
i was feeling you pressed up against me oh
what's that book your reading now?

is it the road less traveled
or is it custer’s last stand
quixote de la mancha
alice in wonderland
is it something brand new
will it fit us like a glove
oh...
should i act like i have no clue
or move like i do
for the love or words
does the answer come from above

what book do you read when you are most alone
what book can take you home
what book do you read when you’re most afraid
have you ever felt saved
by words or music or anything
what book lives inside your heart
i want to know your story
so where shall we start

you say you want me to call
but you don't like talking on the phone
you like your talking face to face i wonder,
how long have you been alone
you give me a smile as i leave
makes me want to take a good look at myself
now what am i supposed to make of that oh,
what's that book up on your shelf?

if i give you mine tonight

lost in the revelry
a lonely voice sighs
counting the promises that
have turned into lies
and in the morning light
an innocent cries
picking up the pieces
of life's greatest prize

and where are the friends we used to know
where is the caring
all of the love, where did it go
where is the sharing

once we could trust each other
like sisters and brothers
and now we hide behind locked doors

if i give you mine tonight
could i ask for yours?

lost in the cacophony
a lonely heart beats
counting the moments passing
as little defeats
living a life alone
a social life dies
we are social beings
is this a surprise?

so where are the friends we used to know
where is the caring `
all of the love, where did it go
where is the sharing

once we could trust each other
like sisters and brothers
and now we hide behind locked doors

if i give you mine tonight
could i ask for yours?

are there still dreamers dreaming the dreams
that created fairy tales?
are there still poets imagining
a love that never fails?
are there still children sharing pretending
without a world of fears?
are there still people living happily ever after
anywhere?

lost in the industry
a lonely hand asks
will anyone hold me today
between all the tasks
and in the dark of night
loneliness on the rise
counting the years passing
wondering why

we share less and less,
and then we die
why oh why oh why
why don't we learn to share more
before we die?
can we learn to share more
before we die?

oh where are the friends we used to know
where is the caring `
all of the love, where did it go
where is the sharing

once we could trust each other
like sisters and brothers
and now we hide behind locked doors

if i give you mine tonight
could i ask for yours?

passion plays on

she has this way of smiling
that asks you to want her
she's got this way of standing
that asks you to hold her
she's got this way of sitting
that asks you to come closer
she's got this way of moving
that makes you hungry for her

and you want to know more
and you want to see more
you want to lift her veil and her skirt

unabashed and embarassed
you're caught with your pants down
but wanting her just makes you hurt

you've got to do something
she's upset your peace
you've got to do something
to find some release
your passion is bursting
at the seems
desire has you humble
she fills all your dreams
just something about her
no words can explain
but if you don't have her
you will go insane
your hunger for her
is eating your brain
each moment without her
is more and more pain

it's becoming an obsession
in just a little while
you have become addicted
to her smile

she has this way of smiling
that asks you to want her
she's got this way of standing
that asks you to hold her
she's got this way of sitting
that asks you to come closer
she's got this way of moving
that makes you hungry for her

and all you want to do now
is tell her you adore her
and all you want to do now
is anything for her

you better tell her soon fool
you can't ignore her
stalling and shuffling
will only bore her

you'll lose if you don't try
so knock on her door
and tell her you love her
that's what you're made for

a neighbor and her dog

she has a dog named mikey and said
mikey loves people
or was it
mikey loves everybody
mikey is special

so mikey rolled over and got a belly rub
and she didn't linger
but i
didn't get the finger

so maybe she'll talk to me again
who knows
we might see each other at the mailboxes
she lives in the building next door
i think
somewhere on the first floor
i think
and i would have liked to see her some more
i think
but i was playing with mikey
so i don't know what she looks like
except from behind
and she had a nice behind
i think

she had a dog named mikey and said
mikey loves people
or as it
mikey loves everybody
mikey is special

they were standing at the mailboxes
and i drove right by her
but i
spun a little tire

backed up, turned around, check the mail
who knows
she might be the woman of my dreams
she waited until i got there
i think
and let mikey show i can care
i think
and i would have liked to see her more clearly
i think
but i was playing with mikey
so i don't know what she looks like
except from afar
when i past her in my car
i think

she had a dog named mikey and said
mikey loves people
or as it
mikey loves everybody

and all i wanted to be was
special

everybody has somebody special

all i want to be is
special

like mikey

a dog's heart

the loyalty
simplicity
a dog will give you more
unconditional love
just lying on the floor
than people ever gave before
for dogs do not want
to go to war
and dogs only want
to feel secure
to be loved
more and more

a heart is like a dog
the loyalty
simplicity
a heart will give you more
unconditional love
just lying next to you
feeling as it did before
it ever learned to fear
or go to war
for hearts only want
to feel secure
to be loved
more and more

and when a heart is broken
the infant inside
awakens to unspoken
tears to be cried

the heart wants to mend
but afraid to bend
and afraid to fall

so the heart goes to sleep
hoping dreams will keep
no feeling at all

sleeping like a log
i'd rather be a dog

the sleeping dog mends
with his only friends
a bone and a ball

and when the dog wakes
like when the bow breaks
the cradle will fall

and the baby cries
and the dream dies
the baby cries
the dream dies

but is that hope i see in your eyes?...
where the sleeping dog lies...
can we be so wise?
is it a surprise?

the dog is like you
the dog is like me
the loyalty
the simplicity
and we can share much more
unconditional love
than we ever did before
if we do not want
to go to war
if we only want
to feel secure
to be loved
more and more

broken mold

and who sings you to sleep today
who fills your night with song
how much life gets in the way
do you find where you belong?

does he get to you where you are most true
would he die for you if you needed him to
would he give up everything and let himself go
guess if you never ask, you don't need to know

so who sings you to sleep tonight
who fills your night with song
do you ever feel something is missing
do you ever feel something is wrong?

that's alright, you be a good girl
listen to the man and do as you're told
be all you are part of the human world
the best we can do is get old

dreams can't be bought, but they can be sold
dreams you can buy aren't worth nothing
it's best we do as we're told

compromise may be good for the soul
unless it's the song that you sing
that has to be sold

when you're left out in the cold
you don't want the broken mold
it's best to do as we're told

feeling precarious

feeling precarious
slightly delerious
life is nefarious
taunting this way

feeling parlous
slightly obtuse
life is refuse
constant decay

so why do i enjoy it
even on my own
i want to be sharing
but i am alone
so i sit here writing
hoping you will read
and pretend we're sharing
that is your good deed

feeling precarious
almost hilarious
life is comparing us
looking this way

feeling so wrong
without a song
i don't belong
in this today

so why do i endure it
maybe i'm insane
i want to be sharing
but sharing is pain
so i sit here writing
hoping you will read
and tell me we're sharing
and maybe the seed
will grow
and we'll come to know
what we're doing here
before we disappear

feeling precarious
not much gregarious
time would not marry us
into the fray

feeling so numb
blind deaf and dumb
what have we become
so far away

feeling precarious
just like yesterday

the way i rhyme

and you say you love the way i rhyme
well where have you been all this time
why should i give you what you want
when i am still bleeding
what are you needing
why are you back now after all this time
what's in it for me?

and you bring the same praise and etiquette
another husband, but does he know yet
why should i believe this is not
one more set up to be shot
i gave it all i got
how much can we hope to forget
and why should we?

what good is trusting you now
it's hard to reach the middle of one's own back
the knife has been twisting for years
all the blood has thrown me off track
washed away in a river of tears
after all rain that has been falling
i may have to hide when i'm calling

married women are nothing but trouble
when you get too close
even worse when you turn around
and you've got ghosts

and you stroke my ego oh so well
well why should i believe you now
relegated to the trash for so long
what could be missing
from your life
that you'd bring me back
me and my knife
do you want my blessing
for your husband and wife
do you want forgiveness
do you want the knife
how much more of my life
do you want this time?
and all because you say you love
the way i rhyme --
what now, this time...
the way i rhyme.

www

it's so weird
no way to check who is checking on me
it's so weird
to have this window on the world through which i cannot see
it's so strange
to have taken you for granted for so long
it's so strange
that you don't even know that i am writing you this song

world on the web
friends far away
electronic words
so much to say
yet in a blink
everything's gone
and even if you don't think
you could carry on
you carry on

it's so weird
after ten years of writing each day
it's so weird
not like i have nothing left to say
it's so strange
like losing a link to a part of me
it's so strange
to have this window on the world through which i cannot see

world on the web
where have you gone
i'll still right here
babbling on
yet in a blink
we're out of touch
and even if you think
it doesn't mean so much
it means so much

what are we beyond the image of who we think we might be
based only on the words we read and write and sometimes say
we're still just a phone call away

but what is it that becomes something when nothing is here
is it all our imaginations that lead us to believe we really care
when the connection just seems to disappear

it's so weird
to be so dependent on blogs and email
it's so weird
to miss it so much when connections fail
it's so strange
i know i'm not the only one who feels this way
but here i sit alone writing these words
and here these words and i alone will stay

it's so weird
no way to check who is checking on me
it's so weird
to have this window on the world through which i cannot see
it's so strange
to have taken you for granted for so long
it's so strange
that you don't even know that i am writing you this song

a rhyme

you seem to want to fit me into your life
the question is where and how far
how much time and space are you prepared to share
after all, penetration is not something to be taken lightly

though humor is my favorite sword and shield
it is also filled with great insight and is my saving grace
sanity is maintained by finding it everywhere
i wonder where you find yours
and what lives (or dies) behind your closed doors

i might say i almost feel comfortable with you
but i must admit i feel comfortable anywhere
i wonder if i still flinch at the thought of unconditional trust
after all, suicide is not something to be taken lightly

within the humor lies a simple puzzle
though still intricate and as complex as you want it to be
peace lives deep within the irreverence
i wonder where you find yours
and what lived (or died) during your past wars

shall we ignore the attraction?
say it is all in my mind?
sometimes safety in numbers is still not as safe
as staying alone

shall we ignore the affection?
say we don't want to give?
sometimes shutting down is still not as safe
as going all in

when you are at that point where you can say
what have i got to lose that i haven't lost already
you might give up and just wait alone to die
or share the superficial already dead inside
or just go for the sharing one more time
unconditional trust and honest love
that is a rhyme

you seem to want to find a way to rhyme with me
the question is how and how much
how much time and space are you prepared to share
after all, imitation is not something to be taken lightly

though logic is my favorite song and dance
it is also filled with great mystery and controversy
consciousness is maintained by finding it everywhere
i wonder where you find yours
and what lives (or dies) behind your closed doors

when you are at that point where you can say
what have i got to lose that i haven't lost already
you might give up and just wait alone to die
or share the superficial already dead inside
or just go for the sharing one more time
unconditional trust and honest love
i'll go for unconditional trust and honest love
one more time...
that is a rhyme

with hope in my heart

when i was younger and much more romantic
i believed in falling in love
even though i knew deep down it was a choice
i willing gave up my senses and voice
back then, secure as a friend,
i believe in the human heart
so now i wonder was it just false faith
when did my dreams fall apart?

when people are cruel to each other
when you try to fool your brother
when people take all they can
pretending to care till it's gone

i wonder what they discover
what do you get out of it?
if you ask me, people turn love
into a pile of shit

now don't get me wrong
see, i wrote this song
with hope in my heart
and tears in my eyes
because i am scared
i need a reprieve
from the evidence
for i want to believe
but i see human beings
everywhere we go
destroying and hating
the smile's just for show

you can misunderstand if you want to
it's probably easier that way
but if you're in earshot
then maybe you hear what i say

i don't know where i belong
humanity has love all wrong
but i wrote this song
with hope in my heart
will you prove me wrong?

when people are cruel to each other
when you try to fool your brother
when people take all they can
pretending to care til it's gone

i wonder what they discover
what do you get out of it?
if you ask me, people turn love
into a pile of shit

you can misunderstand if you want to
it's probably easier that way
but if you're in earshot
then maybe you hear what i say

i don't know where i belong
humanity has love all wrong
but i wrote this song
with hope in my heart
will you prove me wrong?

comfort food

She sits there eating cookie after cookie, crème wafers covered in milk chocolate, chunky chocolate chip, double stuffed oreos, the chocolate covered kind that is sometimes hard to find in the stores. After two Italian subs, half a meatball, half a veal, and a whole eggplant (because the vegetables balances the diet, you know), all parmesan with double cheese and extra sauce (because she is so very oral, you know), and she is looking forward to the midnight snack, the two halves she did not just eat. It is only just after eight o'clock, after all, and she always has a snack before bed. The prime time hours have just begun, her favorite time of the day, so she has her snack tray laid out around her and she's making the great escape into other people's lives and carbohydrate heaven.

He knows how to be healthy, he's done it before, after all, as a former marathon runner and almost Olympian, yet he sits at his computer writing about his life, complaining mostly, because he must have given up on his dreams somewhere along the way, at least temporarily, long enough to pack on fifty pounds, much against his medical advice, and lose any connection with a social life, except for the messages on his computer. As midnight approaches, he drinks another Red Bull so he can continue on into the night, writing, writing, writing out his life, pouring out the loose thoughts and careless emotions that remain after whatever it was that shut him down and drove him to this, a shut-in existence linked to the outside world only by the umbilical cordless mouse-ball he ordered on the internet where he taps on into the night feeling like the king of his cyber kingdom.

They are two lost souls living in a fishbowl of electronic compassion, real as they want it to be. Her phone rings, she ignores it. The best part of her favorite episode is on and she must see it for the seven or eight hundredth time, year after year.

There's a knock at his door, he ignores it. He is on a roll and nothing can stop his fingers now for they are tapping out the symphony of his imaginary existence.

They are content, or at least numb, which is a form of contentment, I suppose.

the next word you say

do you want to make love tonight?
i mean how do you feel about it
i ask as a friend, not as a come on
are you one who can take it of leave it
or are you one who can't live without it

do you want to make love right now?
i mean how important is it to you?
money sex power food or possessions
which of these are most important to you?
i ask because i want to know you

before we can go any further
before we can grow any closer
we need to be honest with each other
about what really turns us on

oh sure we can fake an orgasm
or we can pretend we are kind
for a moment we can be anything
but who lives deep inside your mind
that's what i want to find

oh yeah we can be well in control
existential or generous or casual
for a moment we can be anything
but what really motivates your rise
and what would cause your fall

what i offer is what i want to receive
the most precious thing to me can only be
honest unconditional love and trust
if this is too much then just keep looking past me
i am looking for someone who understands
can we place our lives in each other's hands
not in some fantasy or fairy tail
but in the real world where we just might fail

there are no perfect people
only perfect intentions
can we trust we offer the same?
the next thing you do
the next word you say
will let me into your game
now will you tell me your name?

do you want
do you want
do you want
what do you want tonight?

do you want
do you want
do you want
what do you want tonight?

Carol Without Strings

on the back of a xmas carol I write this song...

I suppose I could have forced you in spite of yourself
all I had to do was support you and take all your abuse
I suppose I could have heard you when you said you were a bitch
and all you ever knew was using men like mindlessly scratching an itch

i could have gotten through a lot sooner than this
before I hit the street so hard
you know I made you the queen of everything
and you wanted more, but you couldn't handle being god

queen of sheeba
martyr hari
mother diva
wouldn't marry
you just wanted
everything
heart soul body mind spirit life
without strings

I suppose I could have been stronger in spite of myself
all I had to do was grow up more and rise above your noose
I suppose I could have broken you instead of letting you break me
but you were already so damaged inside that I just let you take me

it could have been much less dramatic than this
before so much life passed by
you know how precious time is to me
and you wanted it all but you couldn't handle eternity

such a waste of time
such a waste of love
did it make you better
to watch it burn?
ashes to ashes
in your wake
will you ever know you are less
with every heart you break
the more you give the more you are
you only have what you take

I'd rather be than own
that is being free... and home
I'd rather give than take
that is knowing love... awake

queen of sheeba
martyr hari
mother diva
wouldn't marry
you just wanted
everything
heart soul body mind spirit life
without strings

lost in your fear you may never hear
or know just what is wrong
but maybe someday you will understand
so on the back of a xmas carol...
I wrote you this song

LOVE

Can you handle being the most important person in the world, the most important thing in the universe, the most important entity in the infiniverse - ever? I mean, really - can your ego handle being that? Way beyond any god ever conceived. More important than anything, anywhere, ever. Can you honestly believe that you deserve that much respect, value, devotion, and importance?

Cuz if you want me to fall in love with you, and I do, then that is exactly what you will be. That is exactly what you will mean to me.