there was a time I was so adored
and I never meant to hurt anyone
there were people who knew my heart
where all there is is love and fun
there were people I trusted unconditionally
and people who trusted me
but I wanted too much and they’re gone
I pushed them away with my carrying on
cuz the first lesson I learn in life
was that people do not stick around
abandonment became
a self-fulfilled prophesy
and now my heart beat is a lonely sound
I wish I knew better back then
before I pushed away all my friends
I wish I didn’t test how much they loved me
just to prove everybody pretends
I wish I knew how to compromise
before I gave into all the lies
I wish I didn’t push everybody away
just to prove no one would stay
doesn’t anybody understand
I will die for love
and I have more than once in this life
won’t somebody hold my hand
to live for love
where is my long lost wife
I sit awake alone at night
writing these songs
dreaming of loving once again
do I hold on too tight
do I let go too fast
I wish I knew better now
than I did then
now I wonder did you ever feel as loved
as when you let me love you
was it too much or not enough
will I ever know what is true
now I wonder if you ever believe i
would love you beyond the day I die
here I am in a place with no time
still loving you – that is my crime
doesn’t anybody understand
I will die for love
and I have more than once in this life
won’t somebody hold my hand
to live for love
where is my long lost wife
I sit awake alone at night
writing these songs
dreaming of loving once again
do I hold on too tight
do I let go too fast
I wish I knew better now
than I did then
1993 we met in correspondence she knew exactly what to write to get into my heart and mind
love is forever no matter what this is the most precious dream I know
1995 she confessed her love for me she told me her whole life was a lie she needed me so she could fly
love is forever love always grows this is the most precious dream I know
1997 two years of bliss and pain I gave her control of my brain she tried to make me go insane
love is forever no matter what this is the most precious dream I know
1999 I gave her everything I could from far away I waited for her to do what she said she would
all the while she was begging me to hang on all the while she was asking for everything I could give all the while she was keeping me living in yesterday using the power I gave her to keep me so far away
1999 she begged me to hold on wait for me, she said, and I did even when she was gone
love is forever no matter what this is the most precious dream I know
I never really knew what was going on all I knew was that my heart was gone she begged me to leave it in her hands is there anyone who understands?
2001 I crawled back to where I came from finding myself lost and broken half waiting half trying to understand what happened and how to begin again without my heart, how to begin again
love is forever no matter what this is the most precious dream I know
2004 a correspondence, first time in three years I felt my anger and pain dissolve in precious tears I asked her why she actualized my greatest fear I asked her to return my heart and mind if she would not come here her silence fell upon me once again (I asked, why won’t you share?) her indecision rose like a wall once again (I asked, why don’’t you care?) only to find her that she would once again… disappear
I thought my heart was open I thought my doors were open I thought I was ready for love so why am I alone
I thought that I was free and I thought that I was me and I thought I was over the past I though that I had known
love is forever no matter what this is the most precious dream I know
2008 again a few words from so far away she confessed she used me, what else was there to say was I the fool still waiting for her to return my heart? and now, am I free?... where and how do I start?
she said she married another and he gave her a child she moved on but she still will not let go there is no room in her life for me today but she will not let go is it because I know
love is forever no matter what this is the most precious dream I know
love is forever the best I’ve got how it can end is something I still do not know
all the while she was begging me to hang on all the while she was asking for everything I could give all the while she was keeping me living in yesterday using the power I gave her to keep me so far away
I never really knew what was going on all I knew was that my heart was gone she begged me to leave it in her hands is there anyone who understands?
she still keeps the best of me under her lock and key even though she started over long ago had another child with another man in 1999, oh and yet she still will not return the things that keep me hanging on so what am I to do when my heart and mind are gone? this is the only way I know to carry on
love is forever no matter what love is still the most precious dream I know
I am so far from the person I used to be I used to sing I used to dance I used to love passion, romance I used to run I used to fly I used to dream my mind could touch the sky I used to feel the human touch I used to want to be in love too much
how far I fell to hear love’s calling could it be that I am still falling
love is forever no matter what this is the most precious dream I know
