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you called me the love of your life
but never heard my heart was not yours
were you hoping i would fall for you
that is not what falling in love is for
it either happens or it does not
and i told you it did not for me
you told me that you had no choice
your love for me ignored my words
my selfishness ignored your voice
our choices create our lot
i wish i never let it go so far
for now i do not know where you are
i miss how much you were devoted to me
did my leaving set you free?
when we met you were pregnant with someone’s child
i never knew who he was or why he was not around
i’m not sure why i didn’t ask and now i wonder why
was i just happy you needed me and not the other guy?
when we met you were grieving, your father just died
you still lived at home, never on your own, eyes wide
just a child with a child and i took you in and shared my life
but the one thing i never wanted you to be was my wife
i tried to be kind, was i too kind?...
or is kindness cruel in the end?
you wanted me to fall in love
i wanted a best friend
you wanted a lover
i wanted a mother
too late we discovered
the two do not mix
how do people measure
what’s comfort or pleasure
when you break a treasure
maybe there is no fix
we never really saw eye to eye
maybe you chose the wrong guy
i wish i never let it go so far
for now i do not know where you are
i miss how much you were devoted to me
did my leaving set you free?
i bought you a house, then i let it go
if you paid it off it is worth five times what we paid
you wanted a spouse, i wanted a show
we were both victims of the game we played
and did we let money get in the way?
you called me the love of your life
but never heard my heart was not yours
were you hoping i would fall for you
that is not what falling in love is for
it either happens or it does not
and i told you it did not for me
you told me that you had no choice
your love for me ignored my words
my selfishness ignored your voice
our choices create our lot
i wish i never let it go so far
for now i do not know where you are
i miss how much you were devoted to me
did my leaving set you free?
i wonder if you're too busy
i wonder if you're depressed
i wonder if you're just dizzy
i wonder if you're upset
i wonder if you are hearing
voices telling you to run
or someone demanding you do not
continue what you have begun
i wonder if you are feeling
i wonder if you are numb
i wonder if you just want to
punish yourself for things you've done
i wonder if you are being
careless or insensitive
have you turned off your heart again
or just think you have nothing to give
i am wondering about you
what is real and what is true
what you want and what you do
i am wondering about you
i am wondering about you
what is old and what is new
what inspires you to break through
i am wondering about you
i wonder if you're sleeping
it's the middle of the night
i wonder if you're dreaming
about darkness or light
i wonder if you're sharing
what is real and what is true
i wonder if you're caring
that i am wondering about you
i wonder what shuts you down
i wonder what turns you on
i wonder what remains
i wonder what is gone
i wonder what went on here
and did i miss the signs
i wonder what you wanted
betwixt and between the lines
i am wondering about you
what is real and what is true
what you want and what you do
i am wondering about you
i am wondering about you
what is old and what is new
what inspires you to break through
i am wondering about you
i wonder if you're sleeping
it's the middle of the night
i wonder if you're dreaming
about darkness or light
i wonder if you're sharing
what is real and what is true
i wonder if you're caring
that i am wondering about you
i wonder why i'm caring
and wondering about you
1993 we met in correspondence
she knew exactly what to write
to get into my heart and mind
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
1995 she confessed her love for me
she told me her whole life was a lie
she needed me so she could fly
love is forever
love always grows
this is the most
precious dream I know
1997 two years of bliss and pain
I gave her control of my brain
she tried to make me go insane
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
1999 I gave her everything I could
from far away I waited for her
to do what she said she would
all the while she was begging me to hang on
all the while she was asking for everything I could give
all the while she was keeping me living in yesterday
using the power I gave her to keep me so far away
1999 she begged me to hold on
wait for me, she said, and I did
even when she was gone
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
I never really knew what was going on
all I knew was that my heart was gone
she begged me to leave it in her hands
is there anyone who understands?
2001 I crawled back to where I came from
finding myself lost and broken
half waiting half trying to understand
what happened and how to begin again
without my heart, how to begin again
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
2004 a correspondence, first time in three years
I felt my anger and pain dissolve in precious tears
I asked her why she actualized my greatest fear
I asked her to return my heart and mind if she would not come here
her silence fell upon me once again (I asked, why won’t you share?)
her indecision rose like a wall once again (I asked, why don’’t you care?)
only to find her that she would once again… disappear
I thought my heart was open
I thought my doors were open
I thought I was ready for love
so why am I alone
I thought that I was free and
I thought that I was me and
I thought I was over the past
I though that I had known
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
2008 again a few words from so far away
she confessed she used me, what else was there to say
was I the fool still waiting for her to return my heart?
and now, am I free?... where and how do I start?
she said she married another and he gave her a child
she moved on but she still will not let go
there is no room in her life for me today
but she will not let go
is it because I know
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
love is forever
the best I’ve got
how it can end is something
I still do not know
all the while she was begging me to hang on
all the while she was asking for everything I could give
all the while she was keeping me living in yesterday
using the power I gave her to keep me so far away
I never really knew what was going on
all I knew was that my heart was gone
she begged me to leave it in her hands
is there anyone who understands?
she still keeps the best of me
under her lock and key
even though she started over long ago
had another child with another man in 1999, oh
and yet she still will not return the things that keep me hanging on
so what am I to do when my heart and mind are gone?
this is the only way I know to carry on
love is forever
no matter what
love is still the most
precious dream I know
I am so far from the person I used to be
I used to sing
I used to dance
I used to love
passion, romance
I used to run
I used to fly
I used to dream
my mind could touch the sky
I used to feel
the human touch
I used to want
to be in love too much
how far I fell
to hear love’s calling
could it be that
I am still falling
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
