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life gets lonely when friends move away
when the one you live with does not want to stay
from strangers to roommates to partners and friends
it's usually sad when the sharing ends
and you know you'll move on
and you'll find someone new
and sort of replace them
and come out of the blue
but just for a while
there is time to digest
and feel sad and lonely
before what comes next
some slumber in new fantasies
or linger in sweet memories
you can wonder why no one comes knocking at your door
you can wonder why your phone does not ring
you can sit home alone wondering if no one cares
but all that wondering does not change a thing
when you're ready you'll go out and say hello
to old friends and strangers with hope in your eyes
and maybe somebody will come and not go
but whatever happens...
life gets lonely when friends move away
when the one you live with does not want to stay
from strangers to roommates to partners and friends
it's usually sad when the sharing ends
so now there is room in your life and your space
so how do you let the world know
without seeming too vulnerable or desperate
without letting too much of the lonely show
are you ready to go out and say hello?
or do you slumber in new fantasies
or linger in sweet memories
sweet memories
yes you know you'll move on
and you'll find someone new
and sort of replace them
and come out of the blue
but until you do
until you do
until you do
life gets lonely when friends move away
when the one you live with does not want to stay
from strangers to roommates to partners and friends
it's usually sad when the sharing ends
listening to the words of a song
from a movie that was a play
will someone care
sung by the members of a life support group
for people dying of aids
suddenly i am aware
that everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end
and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end
we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
when old age ails me
when i must depend on someone else
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
it may be more obvious with cancer or aids
but we all share the same fear
of being alone at the end
old age is the final card that is played
if none of the others do it,
old age will, my friend
for everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end
and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end
we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
when old age ails me
when i must depend on someone else
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
sometimes i want to end it all while i can
rather than be alone when i'm helpless at the end
sometimes i want to end it all, do you understand?
no one answers when i ask who will be the friend?
we're all asking
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
when the body fails me
when i can no longer care for myself
when old age ails me
when i must depend on someone else
will i face nursing home dangers
will i be put out with the trash
will i be at the mercy of strangers
wiping my nose, my drool, my ass
will i lose my dignity
will someone care
for everyone is dying
and everyone is trying
to not be alone in the end
and everyone is wondering
the question is thundering
will someone be the friend
who will be there in the end
people have become untrustworthy
the hope once held in the human heart
is gone
gone
gone
people have become undeserving
the love once held for the human heart
is gone
gone
gone
people can be bought and sold too easily
people are too gullible for reality
people prefer ignorance delusion and fantasy
to knowledge awareness and honesty
just look around if you do not believe me
unless you really do not want to see
are you just like all the people lost in futile fantasy
people are you people just pretending to be free
people are you people entropy
and in the end...
people have become...
people have become...
people have become...
undone
i was once so sensitive that i'd cry
if i saw anger in someone's eye
everywhere i looked i saw hate and strife
all the cruelty of every life
all i could do was hope it would end
when i found someone to be my friend
but i found no one who did not betray
the words of love they tried to say
and i think i've grown hard and cold
and i think my heart and mind got old
and i think my soul was somehow sold
and i think i was never told
the truth
i was once so considerate that i would
give everything i could just to be good
for kindness was the best feeling i could feel
and giving unconditionally made it real
but i found no one would give the same way
people take advantage and then do not stay
but i found no one who did not betray
the words of trust they tried to say
and i think i've grown hard and cold
and i think my heart and mind got old
and i think my soul was somehow sold
and i think i was never told
the truth
so is this pathos, a poor me song
is this a foolish game dragging me along
i don't want anything from you
unless you can tell me... what is true?
i was once so generous that i'd give
everything away, that's just how i lived
now i find myself alone and feeling so tired
i can barely remember how i was once so inspired
to believe in the human heart
and in love that never ends
now i find myself alone
wondering... where is my friend
and i think i've grown hard and cold
and i think my heart and mind got old
and i think my soul was somehow sold
and i think i was never told
the truth
and i think i've grown hard and cold
and i wonder if it's time to fold or unfold
and i feel like i have been rolled
and i think i was never told
the truth
maybe i'm depressed
maybe i'm a mess
maybe i am just tired of games
maybe this is your song
are you singing along
will you give me your real names?
is this embarrassing
do you feel anything
or have you grown this numb too?
i wonder what you think
i wonder what you drink
i wonder what surprises you
i was once so curious that i'd ask
everyone i met to remove their mask
everywhere i looked i was lies and strife
and i did not believe that was real life
I want to believe in the human heart
and in love that never ends
now i find myself alone
I don't want to pretend
it's ok...
I still find myself alone
wondering... where is my friend
and i think i've grown hard and cold
and i think my heart and mind got old
and i think my soul was somehow sold
and i think i was never told
the truth
and i think i've grown hard and cold
and i wonder if it's time to fold or unfold
and i feel like i have been rolled
and i think i was never told
the truth
1993 we met in correspondence
she knew exactly what to write
to get into my heart and mind
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
1995 she confessed her love for me
she told me her whole life was a lie
she needed me so she could fly
love is forever
love always grows
this is the most
precious dream I know
1997 two years of bliss and pain
I gave her control of my brain
she tried to make me go insane
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
1999 I gave her everything I could
from far away I waited for her
to do what she said she would
all the while she was begging me to hang on
all the while she was asking for everything I could give
all the while she was keeping me living in yesterday
using the power I gave her to keep me so far away
1999 she begged me to hold on
wait for me, she said, and I did
even when she was gone
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
I never really knew what was going on
all I knew was that my heart was gone
she begged me to leave it in her hands
is there anyone who understands?
2001 I crawled back to where I came from
finding myself lost and broken
half waiting half trying to understand
what happened and how to begin again
without my heart, how to begin again
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
2004 a correspondence, first time in three years
I felt my anger and pain dissolve in precious tears
I asked her why she actualized my greatest fear
I asked her to return my heart and mind if she would not come here
her silence fell upon me once again (I asked, why won’t you share?)
her indecision rose like a wall once again (I asked, why don’’t you care?)
only to find her that she would once again… disappear
I thought my heart was open
I thought my doors were open
I thought I was ready for love
so why am I alone
I thought that I was free and
I thought that I was me and
I thought I was over the past
I though that I had known
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
2008 again a few words from so far away
she confessed she used me, what else was there to say
was I the fool still waiting for her to return my heart?
and now, am I free?... where and how do I start?
she said she married another and he gave her a child
she moved on but she still will not let go
there is no room in her life for me today
but she will not let go
is it because I know
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
love is forever
the best I’ve got
how it can end is something
I still do not know
all the while she was begging me to hang on
all the while she was asking for everything I could give
all the while she was keeping me living in yesterday
using the power I gave her to keep me so far away
I never really knew what was going on
all I knew was that my heart was gone
she begged me to leave it in her hands
is there anyone who understands?
she still keeps the best of me
under her lock and key
even though she started over long ago
had another child with another man in 1999, oh
and yet she still will not return the things that keep me hanging on
so what am I to do when my heart and mind are gone?
this is the only way I know to carry on
love is forever
no matter what
love is still the most
precious dream I know
I am so far from the person I used to be
I used to sing
I used to dance
I used to love
passion, romance
I used to run
I used to fly
I used to dream
my mind could touch the sky
I used to feel
the human touch
I used to want
to be in love too much
how far I fell
to hear love’s calling
could it be that
I am still falling
love is forever
no matter what
this is the most
precious dream I know
all the time alone
when you disappear
i question my trust
wonder why i care
all the time alone
like missing rungs on a life ladder
and then you return and tell me to climb
as if all the time alone
doesn't matter
do you just need to have control
it is always on your terms
silence is a lonely noise
do you just like to watch me fall
you treat me like a toy, old toys
a child leaves broken toys behind
but what of broken boys?
all the time alone
between times you appear
i question what love means
and why i should share
all the time alone
like missing rungs on a life ladder
and then you return and tell me to climb
as if all the time alone
doesn't matter
every now and then
i face reality
in all the time alone
i can see
you come back telling me
that i matter to you
i say, really?
but all the time alone
brings more clarity
time alone matters
to me
and in all the time alone
what really doesn't matter to you
is me
and who sings you to sleep today
who fills your night with song
how much life gets in the way
do you find where you belong?
does he get to you where you are most true
would he die for you if you needed him to
would he give up everything and let himself go
guess if you never ask, you don't need to know
so who sings you to sleep tonight
who fills your night with song
do you ever feel something is missing
do you ever feel something is wrong?
that's alright, you be a good girl
listen to the man and do as you're told
be all you are part of the human world
the best we can do is get old
dreams can't be bought, but they can be sold
dreams you can buy aren't worth nothing
it's best we do as we're told
compromise may be good for the soul
unless it's the song that you sing
that has to be sold
when you're left out in the cold
you don't want the broken mold
it's best to do as we're told
feeling precarious
slightly delerious
life is nefarious
taunting this way
feeling parlous
slightly obtuse
life is refuse
constant decay
so why do i enjoy it
even on my own
i want to be sharing
but i am alone
so i sit here writing
hoping you will read
and pretend we're sharing
that is your good deed
feeling precarious
almost hilarious
life is comparing us
looking this way
feeling so wrong
without a song
i don't belong
in this today
so why do i endure it
maybe i'm insane
i want to be sharing
but sharing is pain
so i sit here writing
hoping you will read
and tell me we're sharing
and maybe the seed
will grow
and we'll come to know
what we're doing here
before we disappear
feeling precarious
not much gregarious
time would not marry us
into the fray
feeling so numb
blind deaf and dumb
what have we become
so far away
feeling precarious
just like yesterday
when i was younger and much more romantic
i believed in falling in love
even though i knew deep down it was a choice
i willing gave up my senses and voice
back then, secure as a friend,
i believe in the human heart
so now i wonder was it just false faith
when did my dreams fall apart?
when people are cruel to each other
when you try to fool your brother
when people take all they can
pretending to care till it's gone
i wonder what they discover
what do you get out of it?
if you ask me, people turn love
into a pile of shit
now don't get me wrong
see, i wrote this song
with hope in my heart
and tears in my eyes
because i am scared
i need a reprieve
from the evidence
for i want to believe
but i see human beings
everywhere we go
destroying and hating
the smile's just for show
you can misunderstand if you want to
it's probably easier that way
but if you're in earshot
then maybe you hear what i say
i don't know where i belong
humanity has love all wrong
but i wrote this song
with hope in my heart
will you prove me wrong?
when people are cruel to each other
when you try to fool your brother
when people take all they can
pretending to care til it's gone
i wonder what they discover
what do you get out of it?
if you ask me, people turn love
into a pile of shit
you can misunderstand if you want to
it's probably easier that way
but if you're in earshot
then maybe you hear what i say
i don't know where i belong
humanity has love all wrong
but i wrote this song
with hope in my heart
will you prove me wrong?
on the back of a xmas carol I write this song...
I suppose I could have forced you in spite of yourself
all I had to do was support you and take all your abuse
I suppose I could have heard you when you said you were a bitch
and all you ever knew was using men like mindlessly scratching an itch
i could have gotten through a lot sooner than this
before I hit the street so hard
you know I made you the queen of everything
and you wanted more, but you couldn't handle being god
queen of sheeba
martyr hari
mother diva
wouldn't marry
you just wanted
everything
heart soul body mind spirit life
without strings
I suppose I could have been stronger in spite of myself
all I had to do was grow up more and rise above your noose
I suppose I could have broken you instead of letting you break me
but you were already so damaged inside that I just let you take me
it could have been much less dramatic than this
before so much life passed by
you know how precious time is to me
and you wanted it all but you couldn't handle eternity
such a waste of time
such a waste of love
did it make you better
to watch it burn?
ashes to ashes
in your wake
will you ever know you are less
with every heart you break
the more you give the more you are
you only have what you take
I'd rather be than own
that is being free... and home
I'd rather give than take
that is knowing love... awake
queen of sheeba
martyr hari
mother diva
wouldn't marry
you just wanted
everything
heart soul body mind spirit life
without strings
lost in your fear you may never hear
or know just what is wrong
but maybe someday you will understand
so on the back of a xmas carol...
I wrote you this song
